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Parenting teenagers can feel like you’re constantly firefighting – school anxiety, exam stress, messy bedrooms, emotional blow-ups – we want to say this clearly:

You’re not failing. This stage really is tough.

At Make (Good) Trouble, one thing we hear again and again from parents is:
“I don’t know what’s normal anymore, and I don’t know if I’m handling this right.”

You’re not alone in that feeling.

In this Q&A, Daisy Cresswell spoke with psychotherapist Donna Peters-Lamb about young people’s mental health, parenting teenagers – and what genuinely helps families day to day. Here are the most useful takeaways

When school feels like too much

For many families, anxiety shows up as the Monday morning battle – tears, shutdown, refusal, or a child who simply can’t get out of the door.

One reassuring truth: anxiety rarely comes out of nowhere. It builds quietly over time and is often a response to feeling overwhelmed or unsafe.

What helps (without making it worse)

Get curious, not alarmed
Instead of focusing only on “school is the problem”, try gently exploring:

  • When did this start?
  • What feels hardest?
  • When does school feel even a little bit easier?

Sometimes the clue to moving forward is hidden in the detail.

Bring school in early
You don’t need to wait for things to fall apart. A discreet conversation with a tutor or Head of Year can help you understand what’s really going on – friendships, learning pressure, or moments where your child is coping better than you realise.

Prepare before pressure hits
Anxious brains hate uncertainty. Simple preparation can make a big difference:

  • Pack school bags on Friday
  • Check homework earlier in the weekend
  • Talk through the week ahead

Less last-minute stress = calmer mornings.

Tools that actually calm anxiety

Anxiety lives in the body, not just in thoughts. These tools help switch off the stress response – and teenagers (and parents) can use them anywhere.

Breathing (simple and invisible)

  • 3–4–5 breathing: in for 3, hold for 4, out for 5
  • Or any breathing where the out-breath is longer than the in-breath

This tells the nervous system it’s safe to calm down.

Grounding

Encourage your teen to:

  • Feel their feet flat on the floor
  • Notice colours, sounds, or objects around them
  • Focus attention outward instead of inward

These techniques are subtle, practical, and effective anywhere – in classrooms, 

“They don’t listen to me”: Mess, conflict and power struggles

If you’re endlessly asking for dirty washing, mugs and plates from their room – and getting nowhere – you’re not alone.

A helpful reframe: this is rarely about disrespect. Teenagers genuinely don’t notice mess in the way adults do.

What helps families move forward

Say it once – properly
Instead of repeatedly asking the same question over and over again, have one calm conversation about:

  • What matters to you
  • What you expect
  • What will happen if it doesn’t change

Start small
Ask for one thing at a time:

  • This week: dirty clothes in the basket
  • Next step: cups and bowls returned

Small steps are more achievable – and more likely to stick.

Consequences, not punishments
Be clear and upfront:

“If this doesn’t happen, this is what will follow. I don’t want that – but it’s your choice.”

This removes power struggles and reduces emotional blow-ups.

Exam stress and the harsh inner critic

Even when exams are over, many young people stay stuck in worry – replaying papers and assuming the worst.

Psychotherapist Donna Peters-Lamb shared a powerful idea from psychologist Martin Seligman, known as the Three Ps.

When stressed, young people often make worries:

  • Personal: “This proves I’m a failure”
  • Pervasive: “I mess everything up”
  • Permanent: “I’ll always be like this”

📚 Read this: Learned Optimism: How to change your mind and your life by Martin Seligman

How parents can help

Rather than jumping in with “You’ll be fine”, try gently challenging certainty:

  • “You don’t actually know that yet.”
  • “That’s a thought, not a fact.”
  • “Even if this didn’t go how you hoped, there are other paths.”

This isn’t fake positivity. It’s helping young people build flexible thinking – a key life skill.

A few things to remember about parenting teenagers

  • Teen brains are still under construction
  • Behaviour is often communication
  • Anxiety needs calming, not fixing
  • Routines, sleep and connection matter more than lectures
  • Your stress level affects your child more than you realise

And most importantly:

Be kind to yourself.
Parenting teenagers is one of the hardest, most emotionally demanding jobs there is – and you don’t have to do it perfectly to do it well.

At Make Good Trouble, we exist to support parents and carers too. You don’t have to hold all of this on your own.

Want support that feels human?

If this resonates, you might find it helpful to:

  • Sign up for our Raising Teens workshop pilot
  • Follow us for practical tools and honest conversations
  • Share this post with another parent who might need it

💛 You’re not alone. And you’re doing better than you think.

Huge thanks to Donna for her time and invaluable advice. You can find out more about her work at Make Sense Psychotherapy. This programme was supported by the Sussex Care Partnership, Brighton & Hove City Council.

Watch the whole conversation here:

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A new parenting workshop – coming soon

We’re building something new at Make (Good) Trouble, and we’d really love your help shaping it.

We’re piloting a brand-new online workshop for parents and carers of teenagers. It’s practical, evidence-based, and designed to help adults connect, communicate, and stay steady through the teenage years.

If parenting a teen has ever left you feeling worried, exhausted, anxious, or unsure — you’re not alone. That lived experience is exactly why this course exists.

Our work builds on years of listening to young people, including our BBC Radio series Raising Teens, co-created with adolescents and youth mental health professionals. Across five series, The Teenage Brain was the most listened-to episode — and it’s shaped everything we’re creating now.

What the pilot looks like

  • Online, small-group sessions
  • Around 2 hours, plus a follow-up session a week later
  • Bring a real issue (and a cuppa ☕)
  • Practical tools you can try out straight away
  • Calm, confidential, non-judgemental breakout groups

The golden ticket:
Pilot participants receive free access to the full course when it launches, plus all online materials.

You don’t need to join to help

Even if you don’t plan to take part, we’d really value your opinion.

We’re asking parents and carers to complete a short questionnaire about:

  • What helpful parenting support actually looks like
  • What’s worked (or hasn’t) before
  • When and how support fits into busy lives
  • Whether current support reflects culture, identity, and lived experience

Your responses will directly shape the course.

👉 Complete the questionnaire here (thank you!)

One last ask

If you know a parent or carer of a teen who might find this useful, please feel free to share this post or pass the link on. Thank you!

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“Horticulture is something hard to learn from books or in classrooms, so I think being here shows you how a day’s work would actually be. It can be really rewarding to take care of something, and in turn, you didn’t realise it was taking tare of you at the same time.”

Make (Good) Trouble was invited to devise and deliver workshops for work experience students at Wakehurst – the wild botanic garden in Sussex, part of RBG Kew. Our workshops are designed to help students process what they have learnt on their placement, and to disseminate that into a podcast and written piece for their CV. 

The workshops

Starting with interview techniques training and how to use audio recording equipment, the groups spent time recording interviews with each other, describing their week, as well as sound effects from the gardens to help build an aural picture of their experiences.  

“The biggest challenge? It’s a very exhausting job – it fatigues you – but it’s not something that’s negative. To step back and look at how much work you’ve done, the rewards outweigh the fatigue tenfold.”

The resulting podcasts give listeners a real feel for what it’s like to be a work experience student at Wakehurst, working in horticulture, retail, education, marketing and the Millennium Seed Bank. 

They created the podcasts on the final day of their placement with Make (Good) Trouble. It is a one-day workshop, designed to help young people to make sense of their work placements, articulate what they’ve learnt, sharpen their communication and listening skills, and prepare for future job interviews. 

Grab a coffee and listen to Wakehurst’s Class of 2025.

Carrots, Caffeine and Conservation

by Euan, Tess, Ava, Mia and Evan.

Seeds, Soil and Strange Conversations

by Oliver, Thalia, Bryce, Evie and Ruby.

👋 If you’re interested in us augmenting your organisation’s work placements with a Make (Good) Trouble workshop, let us know!

🌳 Wakehurst work placements are open to young people aged 14-18. Contact wakehurstworkexperience@kew.org for information on how to apply.

🎧 Hear Wakehurst’s Class of 2024 podcasts here.

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I’ve been following changes in the world of work over the last few years – partly because we run a business that employs and contracts young people, and partly because it’s like watching a fast-paced thriller play out. It’s fascinating. Global politics, AI, the rising cost of living and Gen Z’s evolving priorities (like more meaningful work, better work-life balance, positive company culture, supportive environments, training opportunities, and stability, say Youth Employment UK) have all contributed to a jobs market that’s constantly shifting.

It’s exciting but also overwhelming. For many young people, it’s hard enough just to find a way in, let alone work out where and how they might thrive in the long-term.

The latest Future of Jobs Report, 2025, from the World Economic Forum (WEF) gives us a clearer view of where things are heading. With insights from over 1,000 global employers, it highlights the challenges young people face. It also lays out the opportunities to be had. If we – and by ‘we’, I mean young people, employers, local authorities and governments – act now.

“On average, workers can expect that two-fifths (39%) of their existing skill sets will be transformed or become outdated over the 2025-2030 period.” Future of Jobs Report, 2025.

What should young people focus on?

The good news is that an estimated net 78 million new jobs will be created globally by 2030, according to the WEF report. But a lot of the roles we’re familiar with will either be transformed or vanish. This means that the focus needs to be on skills: what you can do, how you think, and your ability to keep adapting.

Here’s what young people should be working towards:

1. Tech skills – even the basics go a long way

You don’t have to become a coder (though if that’s your thing, go for it). But having digital confidence – like understanding AI, data, online tools, and cybersecurity – is becoming a must, no matter what field you’re in. These skills are at the heart of nearly every fast-growing job sector, according to WEF.

👉 Try this: Take a free online course in AI basics or data analytics. You don’t need to become an expert, just knowing the language will help you stand out.

2. Human skills – the ones tech can’t replace

These are increasingly important – in terms of job prospects as well as your wellbeing. As machines take on more of the routine work, your value comes from what they can’t do: critical thinking, creativity, empathy, adaptability – in our opinion, the interesting, fun stuff! Employers are increasingly looking for people who can think for themselves, work well with others, and handle change.

👉 Try this: Get involved in projects, part-time jobs, volunteering, or anything that builds your communication and problem-solving muscles. These experiences often teach you way more than formal study.

3. Green skills – for work that makes a difference

Jobs linked to climate action and sustainability – like renewable energy, environmental management, and electric vehicle tech – are booming. If you care about the planet (and over 80% of under 15s do), these roles offer a way to earn a living and make a real impact.

👉 Try this: Look into internships or modules in sustainability, even if it’s not your main focus. More industries are going green, and they’ll need people who get it.

The 3 biggest challenges young people face right now

1. Skills mismatches

Too many young people are coming out of education with skills that don’t match what employers need. At the same time, businesses are struggling to find people who are ready to hit the ground running.

This isn’t your fault. It’s a systemic issue. It means we urgently need to build better bridges between education, training, and work.

2. Automation and disappearing roles

Entry-level jobs that once helped young people get a foot in the door (like admin, data entry, retail) are being automated. That makes early career paths more fragile and competitive. 

3. Cost of living and career insecurity

Starting a career in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis is tough. When you’re juggling rent, bills, and perhaps student debt, it’s harder to take chances on training, internships, or lower-paid but valuable experience-building roles.

The 3 biggest opportunities to go for

1. Tech is hiring – and will be for a long time

There’s a global shortage of people with skills in AI, fintech, data, and cybersecurity, according to the WEF report. Even if you’re not a “tech person,” showing some fluency with digital tools can open doors.

2. Green jobs give you purpose and security

The transition to a greener economy will create thousands of jobs in the coming years and many of these are roles that didn’t even exist a decade ago. Take a look at some green careers.

3. Work is getting more flexible and global

Remote work, freelance platforms, and portfolio careers are giving young people new ways to build skills, make money, and create careers on their own terms, regardless of your location.

What employers and policymakers should be doing

If you’re an employer, educator, or policymaker reading this, here’s our key message: young people are motivated, capable, and ready to contribute but they need better systems around them.

Here’s how employers and policymakers can help:

  • Rethink education so it focuses on adaptability, digital confidence, creativity, and resilience – not just exam results.
  • Support mental health and wellbeing in the workplace. A caring environment isn’t a “nice to have” – it’s a must.
  • Invest in accessible training and paid entry-level opportunities. If a young person can’t afford to work for free, we all lose out on their talent. (You must pay interns if they’re classed as a worker, that’s the law, and just plain decency.)
  • Bridge the gap between education and work. That could be through real-world projects, mentorship, apprenticeships, and employer partnerships.

We also need to fund and champion lifelong learning – not just for young people, but for everyone. In our rapidly changing world, the ability to learn, unlearn and relearn is important – not just for work, but for life. And while that might sound exhausting, with the right support, it can be energising. It’s a chance to spark new ideas, unlock new careers, and reshape work for the better. And crucially, young people must be part of that transformation, not just as learners, but as co-creators of the future they’ll inherit.

What next?

The future of work is already here – and it’s changing fast. But young people aren’t scared of that. They’re used to change. What they do need is support, direction, and opportunity.

If you’re a young person starting out right now, here’s the best advice we can give: don’t chase job titles, build future-ready skills. Be curious. Stay flexible. Learn how to learn. That mindset is your best long-term asset.

And to the rest of us – employers, educators, governments – let’s not make young people fight their way in. Let’s build pathways, offer support, and co-create a future of work that works for everyone.