Parents

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Everyday I find stories that involve teenagers, device addiction and mental health. They are all over the press, as rates of depression and self-harm soar in youngsters.

One article that caught my eye, by Tech journalist Moya Sarner was about Belinda Parmar – who “was a passionate advocate of the digital revolution – but has started keeping her family’s smartphones and laptops locked away to protect her loved ones”

I then had a very interesting discussion with my 17 year old daughter about confiscating devices. She said “if the kid is trusted with the device it shouldn’t be confiscated.” And there lies the problem. It is not necessarily our kids we don’t trust but the social media giants who have deliberately created addictive platforms and the unregulated content that is published on them. Try explaining that to my 13 year old. Do I trust her to discern which content is suitable for her? I am afraid not.

To quote the article – “These experts agree that abstinence is not the way forward: instead, we need to build what they call digital resilience, and learn to use technology in a measured, controlled way.”

One of the five core pillars of Brighton5 is to teach our kids fearless enquiry. To teach them how to discern, to question, and to ultimately understand the ramifications of their digital activities. This should be done in ways they can relate to – younger teens are heavily influenced by older teens, so Brighton5 aims to empower teens to change their behavior for the better, by helping them help themselves.

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This morning I attended the ‘Managing Anxiety’ meet up organised by some local primary mental health workers. The session was advertised via three Brighton secondary schools, aimed at parents and carers. At first, it felt like an AA meeting (not that that is a bad thing) as I nervously joined the group sitting in a circle. Strangely only parents from one school attended. This highlights the issue of communications and how you get the good word out there. Time of day may also have been a factor.

Listening to other parents talking openly (albeit anonymously) about their teens’ problems illustrated clear patterns of behaviors related directly to anxiety including pressure of school – especially attendance targets, panic attacks, lack of sleep, isolation…

Of course, some of these problems are age old as kids hit adolescence and become socially dysfunctional – we were told about a study the proved that the level of stress an adolescent experiences by just being looked at is far higher than an adult, as they have a heightened sense of themselves. However, the majority of discussions were taken up talking about screen dependency and the added pressures social media can have on our teens.

The culmination of these honest heart-felt stories make Brighton5 all the more crucial. If kids are all over social, then we owe it to them and ourselves to use that medium to create positive ways of tackling difficult issues. It is glaringly obvious that younger teens need other older teen role models, for help, advice and friendship.

Bring on the girls. Bring on the Brighton5.

Useful links provided at the meeting:
Hey Sigmund – written in language children can understand
And this book about overcoming anxiety in kids – a must read apparently

P.S. If you came to the meeting this morning, please get in touch (tab top right of page)

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This week is full, once again. No zero days. By full, I mean thinking time and collaboration time. The world of Brighton5 is evolving rapidly- alongside some amazing local collaborators. And my time is taken up thinking, mapping, scheming and dreaming with these wonderful people.

Some question how I will be able to make a telly programme that is entertaining enough to keep teens and adults watching, when covering difficult issues like self harm or peer pressure. Sure we can pull on heart strings, but actually I have a theory that if we give our kids enough playtime, an amazing physical space and the tools to create and craft, some mad and wonderful things will happen. Couple that with some brilliant direction, animation and editing, and I know we can create magic.

For years I worked in brand experience, creating emotionally-driven physical spaces whose sole ambition was quite simply to make our audience gasp…”Ooooh! Ahhhhh!” (these two words were once our only brief from Imagination founder Gary Withers!)

Netflix have placed documentary storytelling in a new league… think Making a Murderer, The Keepers, Strong Island… whether a Netflix original or not – they are placing these astonishing bodies of work directly into our homes. Entertaining? they certainly are.

Tonight I listened to Sally Wainwright’s interview on the BBC writers room podcast where she says on the subject of authenticity… “the truth is more interesting than any old shit I can make up” (don’t you just love her!)

So we will have have truths, but we will also have dramatic well thought-out storytelling, which will multiply and layer through social media, because that’s where our teens live.

One thing I do know is I won’t be chasing ratings.

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For any working parent, half term can be difficult to juggle. My half terms seem to combine random teenage demands with me moaning myself into a stupor about about the state of their bedrooms. For years I have told myself to book the time off. To down tools and be there for the kids. But that never quite happens. I might get a day or two – but that usually ends up with me tackling jobs in the house I wouldn’t normally have time or inclination to do, not properly interacting with the kids at all. So, here we are again, at the end of the half term week and I am in exactly the same place as I always am – slightly defeated, spun out of my routine, wondering if my teens will ever clear up their rooms.

Brighton5 is about challenging norms that don’t work – using the energy of teens and experience of adults to make (good) trouble. My half terms don’t work – unless we are lucky enough to go away on holiday somewhere – but these days my teens aren’t too keen on that unless their entourage of mates can come too, which of course my purse and psyche won’t stretch to! The school system doesn’t work either – well not for everyone.

So, what exactly did I learn this week? I am learning that ordering my teens around (or trying to instruct a clear line of daily duties) in half term is futile. Their brains aren’t developed to cope with or care about adult priorities and instructions. Maybe I should completely rewrite my half term playbook, and think more laterally – even if I do think things are starting to grow in my teenagers’ floordrobes. Oh and am I allowed to say – roll on Monday?!